Who Needs Magazines?
by AnimateObsessive
Summary: Kakashi finds out Sakura's little secret. Time to call her a hypocrite! But that's not what happens at all...


"Good afternoon, Sak-"  
Kakashi cut his sentence short, looking rather curious.  
At his abrupt appearance in her window, Sakura had uttered a tiny shriek of surprise. A normal reaction to a sudden arrival, even that of one's friend. However, in addition to the cry, mortified heat had flooded her visage. There had been the definite swish and blur of something being shoved out of sight, hastily thrust behind the woman's back as she sat up on the bed. Her wrathful expression would have been more impressive if she wasn't blushing furiously underneath the storm clouds.  
"Don't just arrive uninvited!" she snapped, enraged. "And through the fucking _window_..."  
Kakashi's mind breezed past the criticism to focus on the intriguing little motion.  
"What were you reading?" he inquired.  
"N-Nothing. Um...girl stuff."  
She hoped this claim would brush the matter away, but it only increased Kakashi's desire to know the truth. He normally wasn't this curious about Sakura's private life. Nevertheless, it was difficult not to be interested in the face of such obvious concealment. He wondered if what she was hiding had something to do with him. If so, how terrible must it be for her to take a stab at deceiving him?  
Kakashi moved too quickly for Sakura's eyes to follow him. The action was carried out with so much speed that he himself was a bit disoriented for a second or two after he returned to his original place. To the female, it seemed that Kakashi's position only shifted in the slightest. Yet it came to her attention after a few seconds that she no longer felt the weight of an item in her hand. Gasping, she pulled her hand from behind her back and saw that what it had contained had vanished.  
"Bastard!" she cried, enraged at the deception.  
But Kakashi was again less concerned with her anger and more concerned with something else. In this case, it was the thing she had been inclined to hide from him. Bringing it before his vision, he was somewhat astonished by its nature. He had expected it to be something having to do with him, perhaps remnants of a secret opinion that she perused from time to time. A part of him thought, and vaguely _hoped_, that it was something to do with Make-Out Paradise. He was slightly correct in that assumption, but only in the most basic sense. Clutched in his hand, previously clutched in Sakura's, was a magazine. The cover made the contents abundantly clear to an observer. The contents, one could see immediately, were several photographs of men in alluring poses and clothed in barely enough to hide their intimate parts. In case the pictures and the cover were not enough, the title of the magazine was "Kunoichi Passions".  
"It belongs to Ino!" Sakura lied, her redness increasing. "Like I'd look at that...ho-horrible smut!"  
This would have been plausible, had she not very obviously been reading it prior to Kakashi's surprise visit. Adding to the obviousness of her fabrication, when Kakashi's gaze swept the vicinity, he noticed five similar magazines stacked on the nightstand. Either Ino had left her entire collection under the care of Sakura or the 20-year-old woman was telling an extremely weak lie to cover up her lust for men in tight shorts. Kakashi knew it was the latter at once. No one could say he was a gullible idiot, much to the woman's annoyance.  
"Do those belong to Ino as well?" Kakashi queried ironically, gesturing toward the other magazines.  
Sakura opened her mouth stupidly, as if she was going to say that they did. She thought better of it and closed her mouth, realizing that there was little she could say in her defense. Her pool of lies had utterly dried up. It was not like it had been a thriving ocean before.  
"I read them for the articles," she muttered, red-faced.  
That wasn't a total untruth. She _did_ read the articles. Or, more accurately, she skimmed them hurriedly for keywords, such as "underwear", "naked", or "erection". If she didn't find any of these, she proceeded to the erotic sections of the magazine to gaze lustfully at shirtless men in revealing undergarments.  
Surprisingly, Kakashi did not look taken aback by her confession or her lies. He returned the magazine to the stack in silence, his expression changing little. He could have been thinking anything, which disturbed Sakura. Whenever Kakashi looked as if his thoughts could be anywhere, she always assumed they were somewhere she didn't want them to be. When the magazine was safely with the others, Kakashi turned his gaze back to the blushing woman who was still sitting on the bed, causing her to ready herself for anything that might come.  
"Oh, Sakura," he uttered quietly. "If you wanted to see men in their underwear, why didn't you come to me?"  
The pink-haired kunoichi stared at him, struck speechless by his words. What in the world was he going on about? Was he making fun of her because of the magazines? If he was, he was going about it in an immensely odd manner. She expected him to pounce on the open window she had just given him to call her a hypocrite. After all her years of complaining about him reading "smut", he had finally caught her doing pretty much the same. Why, she wondered, wasn't he rushing to label her a "pervert" in revenge for all the times she had called him that?  
But as she watched, her mouth slightly open, she found she couldn't speak for a whole other reason.  
Smiling in a sensual way that was as disconcerting as it was arousing, Kakashi reached down to grasp the bottom of his shirt. He tugged it upward, pulling it past his belly button and toward his neck. As it ascended his chest, a landscape of perfectly carved abdominal muscles was revealed. They shone like starstruck ridges, well-defined against the skin. Above them, slowly revealed and similarly distinct, there unfolded a mountain range of gleaming pectorals. When the shirt reached its limit, it was dragged higher until it slid off entirely over the top of Kakashi's head. The removal of the sleeves brought into the light the carefully sculpted muscles across the man's arms.  
_Why the hell do I feel so lightheaded?_ Sakura wondered._ Why is my heart pounding so much? Why haven't I punched Kakashi's lights out?_  
The answers to those questions were complete mysteries to her. Her heart was throbbing itself into a panic and her head was wavering as if she was about to faint, but she didn't know why. She sat there rather dumbly, staring at Kakashi's chest as if it was a gemstone.  
"You can look and you can touch," Kakashi told her, approaching the bed. "That's better than a magazine."  
He casually seized his pants and inched them downward a little. These were the standard pants that he had many copies of in his wardrobe, devoid of a zipper or a button. When he released them from his grasp, the article of clothing rushed to his ankles. Sakura felt her heart skip a beat when this occurred, but it wasn't what she half-expected to see. He was wearing a pair of black thong-style briefs, similar to the ones consistently featured in her beloved magazines. They didn't seem the type of underwear a man of Kakashi's character would wear, although this was not the time to question it. Sakura's mind was invaded with extremely different thoughts when her eyes came to rest on them. For example, she was reflecting on how underwear of that design left little to the imagination.  
Kakashi removed his mask and tossed it to the floor. He did it so nonchalantly that it barely warranted more than one sentence of discussion. Now he stood before her virtually naked in every way, his underwear the only thing remaining. His resemblance to the models in Sakura's magazine collection was uncanny. The only things he was missing was a dark background and a tongue that was sensually entwined around a cherry. He made up for these absent details by leaning close to Sakura, an expression of smutty desire on his face. At this close proximity, the woman inhaled the gorgeous aroma of strawberries and vanilla, her absolute favorite smell. She drew it deep into her nostrils, her inhibitions melting away even quicker than they had been the second Kakashi removed his shirt.  
"Why don't you take a break from looking at men in magazines and look at me instead?" he proposed. "I'll show you what my tongue can do. "What can it do?", you might ask yourself. The answer is: It can do _everything_."  
He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers...

Sakura woke up with a start, a magazine over her face.  
Gasping slightly, she removed "Kunoichi Passions" from her visage. Doing this allowed reality to flood in even more. She saw that it was probably late evening, suggesting that her "brief nap" had somehow morphed into something in the area of five hours. Shaking her head, she sat up on her bed. She vividly recalled every single thing that had happened in the dream. With it fresh in her mind, she asked the most logical question to grace her mind upon waking from it.  
"What the fuck did I drink last night?"


End file.
